Every year in January divorce lawyers are at their busiest. Many clients who have had an entirely miserable Christmas march into lawyers offices, determined to end their unhappiness by separating or divorcing. Such are the numbers that they almost compete with the January sales. However, one common theme that rears its head every year is the impact of the thoughtless Christmas present from their partner that can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Whilst corporate giants bombard all of us pre-Christmas with issues of the thoughtful Christmas presents, what no one reveals are those that are a total relationship killer. They are known by divorce lawyers “as the presents about which no one dares to speak”.
We divorce lawyers know only too well what these presents are. So for the sake of relationships countrywide they have to be unmasked. What are those unspeakable gifts for 2011? From investigations carried out by Lloyd Platt & Co, Solicitors, we found the worst relationship disasters for Christmas as:-
The reason why some of these items have been found to trigger the relationship demise is because they represent a failure to think at all about the impact of their receipt on the recipient. For a woman to receive a toaster indicates that she is just a drudge there to assist him in his breakfast pleasures. Similarly novelty washing up gloves suggest that she is only good for the kitchen. If the woman partner has been engrossed in watching the television series, Master Chef buying her a bargain basement cook book which is clearly second rate, will offend her sensibilities above all.
Whilst a man might think that purchasing anti wrinkle cream will be of great assistance or weightwatcher subscriptions or videos, to a woman they say she looks fat and unattractive. Similarly the receipt of big cheap knickers are a reflection that the man no longer sees you as attractive. Women can buy themselves big cheap knickers but it is an utter crime for a man to buy them for her. Whilst some women might be happy to receive an electric razor, a set of cheap do-it-yourself razors are a no, no. Similarly a nylon nightie suggests that the recipient is too old to be considered in any sexual way whatsoever and has now become his mother. Artificial flower displays are an indicator that there is no growth in the relationship.
It is also apparent upon investigation that men are entirely sensitive creatures when it comes to presents. Whilst they do not consider it necessary to pay too much attention to the present that they purchase for their partner, they look deeply into the meaning of the presents that they receive in turn. Receiving an A to Z says to a man “you are technologically backwards” and would not possibly understand a Sat Nav. The receipt of socks of any description including novelty socks with “great dad” on the side is an indication that no thought whatsoever has gone into the choice of present and that they are no longer loved. Similarly the receipt of cheap underwear or winceyette pyjamas falls into exactly the same category of “boring and old”.
Initialled handkerchiefs are great to buy for great grandparents but should never be given to your partner.
Any book, dvd or tape that includes the words “how to be” should be avoided like the plague if you want to keep a happy relationship. Those that include with the words “more successful or better or good in bed” can really accelerate the demise of a relationship. Given that most men believe that they are incredible, sexy, wonderful and invincible, statements such as those above appear to have a direct impact on their ego and temperament. Cheap aftershave can also damage the cool image of the wave surfing sea emerging male and emasculate him to the point of screaming.
However, by far the worst present on our investigated list was slippers of any description but more particularly novelty versions such as those requiring the man to walk around in giant size gorilla, banana or duck shapes for their rest of the day. Should you feel the need to provide such a present to your man, it says in ten foot high letters that “both I, together with the entire outside world regard you as completely stupid. I now wish you to be seen demonstratively in this light”!
Should you choose to buy any of the presents on this list, then you can expect at the very least a snort of unhappiness in your direction, weeks of silence, followed in my cases by a solicitor’s letter informing you that your present amounts to unreasonable behaviour and that a petition is about to be issued.
You have been warned!
If you have any divorce law enquiries please contact us on 02083 432 998 or complete the enquiry form online.
